Don't Leave Home - With or Without It - Dueling X's

One of the big questions as your are traveling through Europe is "how should I pay for things?"

This has become more difficult for several reasons. First, the Almighty American Dollar is hovering slightly below the waterline in what the British refer to as the Loo. Perhaps it has not yet been flushed, but it definitely is not the powerful Greenback I've traveled with before.

Second, traveler's checks, the once-vaunted "American Express", are viewed as slightly less trustworthy than the money you use in the "Game of Life" (remember Art Linklater?) Even American Express isn't crazy about them, now. They will charge you a fee (I'm not kidding) to cash the traveler check which you paid them a fee to issue. I'm surprised they don't ask us to pay them interest on the money they're holding for us. Bottom line in Europe when you think about traveler's checks, if you actually want to use them as opposed to just having the comfort that you have checks you can replace if you ever lose them, don't bother.

Okay, so that leaves cash and credit cards. Cash still works and everybody accepts it over here. In fact, in most of Europe, they all use the same cash, so the changing at the border and ending up with several hundreds of dollars in useless change is substantially diminished (the English, of course, still use the pound, - carry on John Bull - and you end up with a ridiculous amount of loose change in your pocket which you give to the "change charity" on the plane - it might have been a tip for the crew, I'm not sure). The problem with cash is, if you lose it or someone takes it from you, it is gone. Or as they say here in Austria, "kaput" (Karen loves it when I speak the local lingo).

So, credit cards. My recommendation is, bring as many as you can, possibly with different names. Cards that work just fine in Dubuque or Hebo, Oregon, for some reason, may or may not work here. Also, there is no consistency to the process. But it doesn't seem to matter for most people, just keep handing cards over (Discover? 1975 UofO student id? Fishing license?) until one of them takes.

I did have my AMEX card with me, but I noticed (after I started my journey) that the magnetic stripe on the back was starting to become brittle, to the point where "sometimes it worked and sometime it didn't". So, I called AMEX and described my problem and asked for a replacement card. Karen's recollection was that they advertised that they could replace cards the next day anywhere. I pointed this out to the AMEX people (these conversations, as they often are, being simultaneously conducted, as I try and give a random series of numbers to the AMEX agent to confirm my secret identity while Karen advises me on technical points of credit card lore), the AMEX agent said that they could get them to me immediately, or within 5 to 10 business days, whichever was the last to occur. When we get home, I've asked Karen to check whether AMEX has anything to do with our health plan as I can picture getting immediate health care within 5 to 10 business days.

At the time, however, I knew I would be in the Netherlands in 10 business days, so I gave them the address of the houseboat. When we arrived, there was no package from AMEX, but we discovered that they (by they, I am referring to AMEX's twin sister, Federal Express, or FedEx) had tried to deliver it, but it had been refused by the guest (we thought the owner stayed in the same houseboat, because of subtle entries in the description like "the owner, who lives on the houseboat"). I found this out by calling AMEX who could give me the tracking number, but no local office or identity as to who they had dealt with apart from "FedEx".

I did a web search and discovered the local office for FedEx in Amsterdam (an unpronounceable suburb of Amsterdam). I spoke with someone there who assured me that the package was there and we arranged for delivery at the houseboat the next morning between 9 and 10 a.m. All was well, or so we thought. I missed the dark music playing in the background as I hung up the phone.

The next morning, as they say, passed, and no FedEx and this is where the high comedy starts. I called FedEx and asked them where they were and they told me that AMEX (with whom I had just spoke with yesterday) had called them and asked for the package to be returned and they had to follow the rules of the shipper. They weren't sure at that point whether the package was still in the unpronounceable suburb or had "moved on", so to speak. I told them that, if it was still there, to keep it there. So I get back on the phone to AMEX and explain our mutual dilemma (my language, while a bit colorful, was within the bounds of decency) and I have names of the AMEX person who requested the return, her phone number (she had gone home, it was very late in North America), the name and number of the Amsterdam FedEx people (who they couldn't call, don't ask me why). So, AMEX calls me back and tells me that they have talked to international FedEx and everything was fine, the package would be delivered. I wait a decent interval and call the local FedEx people to confirm that they have instructions to deliver the package to me so that we can arrange the time (I know, we're crazy, but we were in Amsterdam, hoping to see sites other than a FedEx truck). Of course, their most recent (unchanged) instructions were to return the package to AMEX. So, I give the FedEx people the names and numbers of everyone from AMEX I could list (I would have included home addresses if I would have had them).

A short while after that, the FedEx gentleman called me back and said the card would be delivered the next morning.

So, I got my card after only a couple of hours on the phone (I'm leaving out vast portions of the phone calls "for English, press 1", "for international questions, press 3", "if you have become a screaming lunatic while waiting, please hang up").

Gary (with his credit card) in Vienna

Deliver to: "First houseboat behind the flower stall!"